How does one go about having an affair? I have never cheated on my partner before – ever. This is new territory for me. I’m a finance guy. Yeah, at heart a bean counter. It has provided a good life for me and my family. I’m also a problem solver. And this is no different than other problems I have solved in the past.
So, let’s break the problem down – starting with the solution and working backwards to what needs to be done. This is the way I solve problems in business, it should work here. The solution looks like this: I meet my lover at the airport, We fly off to St. Barts for a few days of lying in the sun – days filled with sun, sailing, and basking on the beach. Evenings spent on fine dining, drinking, and – of course – debaucherous sex. Later we fly home, go our separate ways with no regrets and no strings attached.
Working backwards, I need plane tickets, a hotel room, and time away from the family which does not raise suspicions. And finally, a beautiful, yet adulterous woman. I need a woman who is willing (well, more than willing) to participate. Who will do all those “girlfriend” things that wives will not do. Who will appreciate a few days on the beach in St. Barts. Who can get away. Who does not mind being “the other woman”. We’ll make love, maybe connect at some level, but go back to our work-a-day lives after the fact. If all goes well, we both have fond memories of our time together.
So, plane fare and hotel bills require money, money which the wife will not miss. This I can do. A future post will outline money management.
I will need time away from the family – this simply means a conveniently timed business trip. In fact, the best vacation places are generally cheaper when folks are usually working, so this works in my favor. A future post will outline time management.
Finally, I need a woman. This will be the hardest. Damn, I hope a future post will outline woman management – d’oh who am I kidding, women cannot be managed. But maybe I can get one. I have read in the past that there is a law of symmetry in having an affair – one should look for a partner who is in the same situation as one’s self – if you are married with 2 kids, find a lover who is married with 2 kids about the same age. They will be facing a lot of the same issues as you are, and will not want to upset the status quo, but may be needing some real attention, which I am willing and able to provide.
I am an executive fairly high up in the organization at work – and with all the attention on sexual harassment, anyone at work is out of the question. The risks are just too high. Also, the wife does attend a number of corporate functions – the annual CEO’s Christmas party, the summer executive retreat, and through the kid’s school she knows a number of other wives of co-workers. People will gossip, and we cannot have this getting back to the little lady. Better to find potential partners in other walks of life. So, time to join some social clubs. The best way to meet women is to engage in activities which they are engaged in. In college I had a friend who took nursing classes. His major was engineering. But he said there were no women in engineering, so to get dates, he audited the nursing classes, which were 90% women. Fact is, he had a lot of cute girlfriends. Way more than the other engineering students. To get a girlfriend, you need access to women. Go where the girls are.
In this case, I need women who are married, and have children, and are unhappy with their spouses. Hmm, PTA seems like a target rich environment. Volunteering at the school? No, the wife is already doing that. Sports clubs? Too male dominated. This is going to take some thought. I haven’t been hunting girls since my 20’s.
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